Delon, that is the only picture of you that I have in my com. If you want a nicer pic, please send it to me then. Hehe.

Well, Yu, your story reminds me of me and Huijie. Not our gang Huijie but you all should know.

Yah, there was a point in time we were like that too. After 2003 Christmas. Keep going cold war and stuff. For one whole year. Worst part is we see each other everyday. It was damn torturous. Can you imagine your so called buddy sitting beside you in lecture (thats when there wasn't much of a choice anymore) and you two don't talk. Even if talk its only those very surfacial stuff. It was very disturbing for me. We appeared to be still quite good friends but we both knew that it wasn't the same anymore.

Guess there needs to be a turning point. The turning point came in July 2004 when I got back with someone the last time and we totally stopped talking to each other. He discouraged me and was feeling skeptical about how 'happy' I was, or rather, how long the happiness would last. At that point in time, I didn't understand how come as my buddy, he can't be happy for me like the rest of my friends were. It all turned sour when I sent an SMS saying something like "everything about my life is so wonderful now. I am happy with everything except for you. Why is it that you have to spoil everything" Something along that line. When I think back, I found that SMS rather hurting also. It was in a spite of anger. Then he replied with a "fine. so I'm the spoiler. You enjoy your great life without me then." Something along that line too.

Throughout the 1 month or so I think, we treated each other like strangers. It was very obvious to everyone that 2 good friends suddenly treated each other so hostilely in class. Things happened again when that someone initiated a break up again. I was like thrown down to hell from heaven. I didn't tell anone about it except for Yirong until a day later, I thought of HJ and decided to tell him. Because I rmb him telling me before that if anytime I feel bullied and feel like crying, I can always tell him. So I decided to SMS him. I thought he would be so sacarsticl like "see, i told you. didn't wan to listen to me lah." But he didn't. Instead he consoled me, encouraged me, and somehow lifted me from hell again. It was after I told him about it, I had more courage to face the truth and slowly broke the news to more people.

That was the turning point for us. Things got better from then on. I am just so so glad that he was still there for me when I needed him the most.

And when I think about how come we went into that cold war stage was probably because both of us were struggling with our feelings for each other. It was apparant that we liked each other. And after that Christmas, we both struggled with our feelings. Like, trying not to like each other anymore. That kind of thing. I guess in order to really become buddies or khakis, both parties needs to stop struggling but are sure that he/she is really just a good good good friend.

And thats what we are now. Until now, we still talk about the "entitlement" he gave me 2 plus years back, which is whenever I am sad, feel like crying, feel bullied, I can always go to him. Provided my dear officer-to-be is free. Even during the recent Ivan incident, he was also there for me and and stuff without taking sides.

Ok lah, enough of my own story. My point is actually just that I think both parties need to be sure of your feelings that he/she is really just a friend. A FRIEND. Its no use deceiving yourself that you have no feelings. It has to be true. Then I think, the friendship can be happy. =)

And erm, if you all figured out about who that someone is, just wanna say that Huijie doesn't dislike you or what. Probably alot of other people were skeptical too. Just that Huijie was the only one who dared to tell me.

And I really need to say this. I almost lost A VERY GOOD FRIEND for a didnt-work-out relationship. That is my greatest takeaway from this. I will nver let this happen again. And I'm so thankful to whoever up there that not only I didn't lose that friend, our friendship was revived from that weak state.

All the best to you, YU. I would like to hear the continuation of the story from you in time to come. But it all takes time. Don't rush into things. Most importantly, ask yourself about your feelings for him. That would really help alot.

*hug* Love ya!

pEg