finally

I'm finally able to blog. But right now, I don't really have the mood and the things to blog about compared to last night. But anyway, I'm here just in case you all thought I MIA.

Erm... with regards to my previous entry, some of you might have known something was wrong. I also don't know how to start. Lets just say that our characters are too similar. Both impulsive people whom only knew that being happy was ever- important. I still do believe that being happy is important. But both of us didn't think through things carefully and questioned each other or ourselves certain things. And thus, things became like that. And happiness didn't last. The whole problem was that the chapter of my idol couple hasn't really closed cos intentions were misinterpreted and when she found out about us, she was heartbroken and had a talk with him and left him in a dilemma.

All I could say was that I didn't feel bad at all cos I was never a third party. I only came into he picture when I thought and obviously he thought the chapter has closed. And on my part, I regretted not heeding advises to ask him about her before we got together. So, I have got no one to blame and nothing to feel bad about.

Hmm... we kind of settled things peacefully and amicably lah. I understand and totally understand his situation and how he is feeling. So I don't have any hatred in me. And also, he allowed me to have the chance to say what I needed and wanted to say before we ended it off. And in fact, we talked through things and ended it off peacefully. Kind of came to a common consenses. Of cos there were tears and stuff, but I feel so much better compared to the previous few days. =) And good thing is we talked through consequences of our parting and assured each other that our clique will not fall apart cos that is something we definitely don't want. And I'm happy I'm not losing this good friend of mine. In fact, I'm chatting on MSN with him now. Haha. Not faking but we sounded ok and normal. For me, at least.

You know, the most valuable asset of him to me is his that smile, which never fail to make my day. Even last time when we meet with HJ, steph they all. I am most of the time waiting for them. And sometimes waiting for 2 guys can be so sickening. But when he comes and flashes that smile, you just wouldn't know how to be angry with him le lor. This sounds stupid but I just want to see him happy lah.

Its like when we got together, we asked ourselves if it was fate. And still, I believe that fate brought us together. And fate has its way of planning and doing things. I can't deny that I still have high hopes in me, I still believe that we will be together again after he sorted out his feelings. And like what HJ told me, by then, I will know that this is not just any other normal affection but it will definitely be a stronger one. I dunno how to describe to you all lah. But if they get back together, I will be heartbroken lah. I admit. I don't have to act strong in front of you all. But still like I said, I will see my idol couple back in action again. And I will tell myself that I am happy cos my I got the half of my idol couple for one month and had a taste of how it was like. Haha.

Like I have told Yin and Rong, I have really put in 100% in this relationship, "zhong zhong de cai xia qu". Thats why this blow came abit hard on me. In fact, quite hard. There are alot of ways which I can describe but proabably not so nice to some people here. Heh! Just in case you are thinking and wondering. I am very assured that he has NEVER treated me as a substitute and that he has also given his best into our relationship. Just that when things like that happen, he is caught. I had this assurance from him, and from a few other people. They might be all his friends but I trust their objectivity.

Alright, thats all for now. For more clarification, feel free to call me. haha. I'm fine now. At this moment. But when my name appears on your phone, don't ignore k? For pEg might be needing you. Muahhaa. I'm going to click post. And if it fails, I tell you, I am going to stop using blogger. Heh!

pEg [who says i always forget to sign off?]