Newton Chalet on 23 Dec 2005
14 Dec 2007 Home Team NS rugged chalet
And the lack of photos does not mean we forget the other time at Downtown East (raspberry vodka) and the one at Changi, cycling at Ubin, the one I will never forget, the super ulu and haunted one and the very pathetic camping at Sentosa with heavy downpour and sleeping in the toilet.
Since 2003, this is our 6th chalet. A little maths tells me that its 1.2 times per year. And a little simple statistics tells me that this is the clique I have "slept" most with.
And without fail, chalets always leave some of us feeling happy, high, angry, pissed, emo, sad. Things usually happen during, or after chalets, at least I thought. Through the years, chalets also make me know my friends in this gang better. I know who snores, who you can't disturb when they are sleeping, who slacks, who works, who cares, who doesn't, who will automatically do what they need to do, who will do what they need to do when pushed, to whom pushing doesn't help, who are the silent angels, who are the ones whom I can depend on, who can't drink and the list goes on.
There were so many times, I wanted to walk out of this gang. The reason I changed my picture to the one on the left, some time back, was to signify some form of walking away. Haha, abit childish, I know. There were times I wanted to just totally remove myself but somehow, somewhat, the deities up there stopped me from doing it.
So many significant things in my life has happened within this gang. First was the trialathon with Mak and eventhough it was my third so-called relationship, it was when I learnt about love and what giving your all to someone you care was all about. Then I had Den who was willing to give me his all and pamper me like a princess but I eventually had to let down. Including the respective break ups, that totalled to 8 significant events in my life.
Relationship aside, wars made up another sector of Peg's significant events in life. The war with Mak was one big influence to walk away. In fact I think you top the chart for being the one who appeared most in my significant events in life. Then came Yirong. And I really really wanted to leave this gang for good because, at that time, I didn't see any point in being part of this anymore and I feel that I do not deserve all this shit when I put in so much effort in this gang. There are way too many bad memories embedded in this clique that I really really wanted to leave and not be involved in anything anymore.
Those factors, together with bad responses for outings and pangsehing, was the reason I stopped being active to just take a back seat. And the reason I took a back seat instead of leaving was probably similar to why a lot of people hold on to relationships eventhough they have this and that problem - 放不下.
Because of those 3 words, I have slipped from a lead actress in this gang, to just a supporting actress (ok, watching star awards now lah), but I am glad to still be part of it. Let's imagine that the gang gives me a star award, I really want to thank all of you (台前幕后）for giving me this chance to be part of you guys. You guys made me learn so much about handling relationship (and I am still learning). You guys gave me the leadership opprtunity to lead, to instruct and to plan. So I really thank you guys for accepting this out-of-nowhere-netball-girl. If you notice, I am the only non-NPCC-choir person in the gang. And I would like to thank the person whom brought me into this gang. You are the only one who missed my birthday speech about how grateful I am to you for this gang of friends. Without you, I will not be here, going for chalets every year, having the chance to train my vocals, having people I can trust to help in my family business, having people whom I know I can depend on and obviously, if not for you, I will not be here saying all these. Thank you Mak! Not gay, FF!
I would also like to thank the people whom are always there for me.
This innocent girl Yirong whom genuinely feel happy for me when I know some of my friends don't. The one whom I could call at any hour to cry to when the above-mentioned made me cry. The one whom will always say nice things in an attempt to make me feel better. If not for you, I will never survive that period of time, and I will probably be seeing a shrink. It is one of my greatest regret that we are no longer on each other's speed dial and I can't be there for you like how you used to be here for me. And everytime I read about how you thank your friends for standing by you and being there for you, I feel a tinge of pain and regret that I can't do the same to you. But I am still glad that you are the one whom I can tell whats the immediate thing troubling me when the situation arises. (in the car)
And of course, ShiYin, one of the best companions I can ever have. You will not believe how appreciative I felt when you were the one whom I ended up talking to when I really really felt like shit, felt so bad and did not know who to turn to. I know I am weird in a sense that even when I am desperate for someone to listen to me, I am still choosy about who that pair of ears could be. That night when I did not think that you were the best person to talk to about the specific topic, you gave me such good feedback and maybe its pure physcological, I really did feel better! Although at times you irritate the hell out of me, I am still glad I can talk to you about so many things and I don't even have to finish my sentence before you know what I really meant and how I really feel. Thanks for being such a good companion.
Overrun. Gotta end my thank you speech.
The truth is, there are times I evaluate the importance of this gang in my life. And to be very honest, your ranking in my life have dropped quite a bit over the years. Every now and then, I tell myself that I have to be understanding and accepting because we have all grown up and we lead very different lives, compared to the school days when our schedules were so similar and we knew what one another was doing at any point in the year. But sadly, the fact that we are all grown up and leading different lifestyles are also why the ranking dropped. There were times I feel a mismatch of frequency, being left speechless about comments made, and not to mention clashes in schedules and being busy with so many different things etc.
Someone, I forgot who, mentioned yesterday that the only constant thing in life is change. Someone else also told me "你以前不是这样的" or something along that line. I can't agree more to it. And as each of us continue to move on in life and change, the gang will change even more. When we all have our families and children, you definitely wouldn't expect that gang to still go for monthly KTV and annually chalets. And you wouldn't expect me to call you and scream at you asking why you are not singing KTV with us when you have 2 children at home waiting to be fed milk and have their diapers changed. You get the idea.
Very sadly, this chalet did not live up to my expectations, it wasn't as fun as how I imagined it to be. Not sure if its worth 12 dollars of taxi and a few bucks of petrol. But whether you see it as fortunately or unfortunately, facing such disappointments is also a skill I picked up and constantly re-teach myself.
To whoever is the leader and organiser for the gang, the trick to stay happy is not to be so uptight about everything.
Easier said than done and I am obvious not perfect in it, but the next thing I want to say is that all of us, no matter where we are and who we are dealing with, should learn emotion management, anger management and possibly PMS management (note "possibly"). Because your emotions affects other people more than how you would think it does and it can be a multiplier effect.
I hope I don't come across as preaching but it would be lovely if we are more appreciative towards what our friends do for us.
Here's a big thank you to: -
ShiYin for the yummy food. BBQ and healthy ai xin soup. For all the effort, taking leave for this chalet, the initiation and organising. Without you this chalet will notbe possible.
Jianwei for booking the chalet! And I just want to redeem him by saying that I was the one who suggested him to get the rugged one instead of the one with bed so that it can accomodate more people and I thought it would be more fun to have that kinda space. The chats and games before we sleep and while we wait and kill time was exactly what I wanted out of the rugged chalet. 有福同享，有难同担。So stop complaining about the hard floor ok!
Mak for coming out with all the arrangements for present exchange. Of course I want to steal abit of credit by saying that I helped in the development of the idea and coming up with some of the questions. Haha! If not who else would Lun's primary school index number and Den's mum's age?!
HuiJie for buying breakfast lunch dinner. You are the sweetest lah!
To everyone in this gang, thanks for being part of my life and thanks for being part of yours. Whether you let out a sigh of disappointment or a heave of relief, I am not walking out of this gang - as of now. Unless something happens again, I am here to stay, whether you like it or not, you will be seeing my face and reading my emowheemo long post which heads nowhere.
Your friend,
Peggen
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